


My Voice is Just a Whisper, Loader Then the Screams You Hear

by theshipstorulethemallwrites



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, First Kiss, Healing, Panic Attacks, Post-Season/Series 03, Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 01:46:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7133540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theshipstorulethemallwrites/pseuds/theshipstorulethemallwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After season 3, Raven and Jasper try heal themselves and each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Voice is Just a Whisper, Loader Then the Screams You Hear

It was after the whole City of Light fiasco that Jasper and Raven starting sleeping together. No, not like that, actually sleeping despite the way Monty and Harper teased them mercilessly despite the lack of teasing that occurred whenever Bellamy and Clarke went to Bellamy’s room. So few of them actually lived in Arkadia anymore that those first nights after the others got back from Polis that everyone was kept up by nightmares. Jasper had approached Raven about maybe sleeping in the same room, he’d offered to sleep on the couch Harper had vacated in her and Raven’s shared room once she’d moved in with Monty. Bellamy had glanced at them as they walked towards Raven’s room that night and smirked knowingly. All Raven had to do was incline her head towards his open door, where blonde hair and a hanging blue jacket could be seen and he laughed before saluting and leaving them to it. 

They were the only two people who had been chipped, who were deeply aware when the other one went quiet and numb, they were the only ones who could coax the other out of bout of self-hatred. Unlike Octavia who wore her grief and anger like a second skin, Jasper and Raven had quiet grief. It was wordless sobs tearing out at night, it was a careful avoidance of Gina’s name, of anything sharp around Monty, of the dead and gone. But it was still there and it haunted them. Jasper wore his grief in his shaking heads and his sad eyes while Raven held hers in the way she spoke softly and the way she reverted to her workshop. Kane and Abby were busy healing each other so it was up to Raven and Jasper to deal with the aftershocks of possessions, to deal with the fact that they hurt people knowingly, to deal with how everyone now approached them warily. 

Jasper’s nightmares were about the stabbing causing death, about actually getting everyone left he loved killed while Raven’s were her subconscious screaming at her and Clarke and Jasper and Bellamy. Both of them woke up every night a scream on the tip of their tongues and a tear they tried desperately to blink away. They always woke up with the other and didn’t sleep until the shaking one had fallen asleep again. It was only around each other that they felt they were allowed to rage, to scream and to fall apart 

 

It was one night that everything changed.

 

Like usual, Jasper and Raven walked back to their room but they’d raced on that morning and hadn’t realized quite how much Raven had thrown around after she woke up screaming Finn’s name. When they opened the door, they were stunned to see that the necklace and ipod sat on the bed, a shadow of past lives and dead lovers. As they fell into an uneasy sleep, neither of them knew what was to come. Like nearly every night, Raven woke up to Jasper shaking beside her but no matter how hard she tried, playing the song he said Maya loved, screaming for Monty to come, she couldn’t get him to calm down. Finally after an hour and realizing that he was having a full on panic attack, she sighed. Despite knowing this would change everything, there was only one way she knew how to stop a panic attack.

Raven knelt down, facing Jasper who had sank down to the floor and whipped a strand of hair off of his face, frowning as she noticed just how sweaty he was. She’d have to do this quickly. 

She breathed out quickly, “oh god, okay, um, try to slow your breathing”

“I can’t, I can’t” Jasper whimpered, not really seeing her.

“Hey, hey. Jas, look at me. Come on, Jasper, look at me. Please.” she whispered cupping his face in her hands before kissing him and oh it was like the voices shut off when he started kissing back. The sun slowly filtered through the window as Jasper’s hands unclenched and came up to grasp Raven’s hair. 

As they pulled back, noses still touching and soft small smiles that lit up the room, Raven murmured, “You held your breath”

Jasper raised an eyebrow before muttering, “huh”

“You were having a panic attack and I needed to get you to hold your breath” Raven responded, wringing her hands and looking down at her lap, a flush flourishing across her face.

“You know, you didn’t have to wait for panic attack to kiss me right?” Jasper whispered, reaching out and intertwining his hand in Raven’s. 

Raven grinned in response before pulling him in and kissing him again. This time there was no shock, no wait for Jasper to respond before his hand moved to grasp her neck and pulling her closer. As they broke apart, breathing heavily, Raven smiled more than Jasper had ever seen her grin before and he silently promised himself that every day he would do something to see that smile. Little did he know that Raven was making that same oath. 

The world tried to break them, the earth had made them bleed and their minds had them scream but with each other they knew, they were worthy and loved and whole.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think.


End file.
